Another Day Goes By

Why Rules Are Made Not To Be Broken

Monday morning. Daughter says, "Aren't you going to yoga?"

"No. That would not be wise. I can go at 4pm - today I have choices."

The only choice I don't have is what is stated in my rule. If I'm home, and class is held, then I have to be there. (Weekdays only) This morning, after four days of lots of music, lots of food, lots of wine, lots of beach, and very little sleep, this morning the hot room would be a bad decision.

After hydrating well all day, about one my husband wanted to go get plants. Hmmm...if I'm busy and not home....I might not have to go. No such luck. We were home by three and I was just sitting watching Dr. Phil while my husband planted the plants.

This is why rules are made not to be broken. In a weak moment, waffling between yoga and cuddling up with coffee and my book, the rule takes over. The decision is automatically made. I'm home watching Dr. Phil. Class is at 4. It's a no brainer. 3:30 I leave for class.

When I entered the hot room I wasn't real sure how this was going to go. I began telling myself all kinds of bad things are going to happen to me in the next 90 minutes. Guess what? There's a rule for this weak moment, too. No expectations about what the class is going to bring.

The class was one of my best ones. The condition in the room was perfect. I rocked the poses. AND we came out of the second camel early and all laid down - I think the teacher said a word we're used to hearing at the end of it - so she made us do a third camel. A THIRD camel. I've never done that and began to panic. Ah..ha...there's a rule to save me from myself when I get a panic attack, too. Breathe normally, and ease into the pose gentle and slow. I was so busy thinking about my rule that the third camel was over before I had a chance to panic.

Yes, rules are made not to be broken, but to save me in my weak moments of waffling, indecision, and panic. Today my little life saving rules definitely made my day better. I'm home, showered, curled up with my book, fully exercised and stretched and feeling good about the accomplishment.

During class I made a few more little rules to guide my food and drink and get me back on track so I can do it all over again on the fourth.

And so, as another day goes by, it feels good to be rid of all the sugar and salt, and ...I have written.

Such A Peaceful Night

The campfire is about to be lit. The trees are still. The air is crisp and cool, heavy with the smell of the ocean. The sunset is quietly brilliant. Boston daughter and friends have left. NY daughter remains one more night to hang with Mom and Dad. They trickle out at the end of the weekend, just like they trickle in at the beginning of it.

It was a weekend of laughter, dancing to country tunes until 1am and connecting with our kids in a way only a weekend here at the cape can provide. The first campfires of the season have begun. The beach bags and flip flops have been resurrected. New sunscreen has been bought. We were lucky to get two beautiful beach days when we were only promised one by the weatherman. We'll take it.

Tomorrow everyone will leave and the first summer holiday will be behind us. The gang will return for the fourth and we'll do it all again. The ebb and flow of life. The coming together and going away over and over again. We come together to share where we've been, the we part for a time to go back out there and do more navigating.

God purposely keeps our lives flowing. I used to have a hard time with holidays ending and everyone leaving. Now I see it as my turn to go out and do my own navigating. Instead of feeling sad and empty when they pull out of the driveway tomorrow, I'll look at it with the anticipation of what God has planned for me this week. Who will I meet? What ideas will I have? What surprises will come my way that will change a course I had planned? What new places will I find myself in?

And so, as the season of summer begins, the possibilities are as endless as they are unknown, and...I have written.

Contemplating...

Conversation this morning:

Me: I'm contemplating having some of that chicken and vegetables we had last night.
Daughter: Do you believe her? She contemplates what she's contemplating to do!

I love my kids. I love their takes on my personality and who I am. Listening to my kids talk about me is better than looking in a mirror. They are so honest - as children are - even adult children. Besides my husband, they are the ones I can depend on to keep me honest. They will never lie to me to make me feel good. It's wonderful to have people in your life that you can always depend on to tell you the truth about yourself. They'll tell if you are being a Rockstar or an asshole. They will be honest. They'll have no hidden agenda or try to spare your feelings. Why do they do this? Because they love you and really want the best for you. This is unconditional love. And, in turn, I love them that way too. I will always tell them the truth. I will never spare their feelings.

Today my friend posted something on Facebook for Memorial Day. It said there's only two words for this day:

"Thank you."

Tonight, here in front of my backyard campfire, with my children, their friends, and my husband and I realize those two words make my time with these people possible. I have the freedom to have a lovely home and spend this holiday with those I love because there are others, who don't even know me, that put their lives on the line everyday so I can experience this evening. My friend is SO right. There are ONLY two words for this day:

"THANK YOU!"

And so, as another day goes by, freedom to love and live as we please, with whomever we want to love and live with is precious, and...I have written.

Vacation Day - LOL!

Boston daughter and friend arrived around nine last night. We sat up talking and working on a Bota Box of wine. Some time around 2am my daughter swung her arm, her wine glass broke, and we called it a night. I said goodnight to them and went to bed because I told them I was going to yoga in the morning. Though they were impressed, they thought I wouldn't ever do it. Let's just say by the time I was through my second pose, they were on their second cup of coffee.

Today my husband and daughter's other friend arrived. The girls went to the store and bought enough food to tide us over until next weekend. I came home from yoga and had my normal protein shake while watching the news. They came home and sat down with subs, chips, and Bloody Mary's. This afternoon they camped out in the back yard with their homemade sangria. Around two o'clock, my snack time, I found myself with a glass of sangria and a bowl of chips. The conversation went like this:

Me: You girls are a bad influence on me. I usually have a cup of coffee and a handful of almonds around two o'clock. Today I'm sitting here with sangria and chips.
Ashley's friend: You're on vacation.
Me: I'm retired.
Ashley: You can give yourself a day off from retirement.

LOL! Next they made guacamole and tortilla chips......best pour me another glass of sangria, too!

Later tonight daughter number two arrives. I can't imagine how this night will go. And tomorrow is supposed to be a beach day.....

And so, as another day goes by, this weekend remember those you lost, enjoy those you're with, and give yourself a "day off" - even if you are retired ...and I have written.

My Amazing Bikram "Burp"

Yes, I said burp. And the funny thing is, I mean a real live burp. I'm not making an analogy here. I'm talking about using and mastering the amazing art of burping. A skill we were taught the very first day we were born. There is a reason moms burp babies. The reason is to remove the trapped air in a baby's stomach that will cause the baby pain and nausea if it's allowed to linger in the abdomen.

From my very first yoga class I observed the hard and fast rule of light food two hours before class. I still experienced a lot of nausea in the first few months of my practice, until I discovered the "burp". I began doing forced small, quiet, "burps" during the warm up poses, and continued to sprinkle them throughout the standing series. My line of thinking was that I was getting rid of any left over food and it was really helping. The nausea went away.

It was only in the last month that I began to rethink this. While engaging in a conversation about whether or not to eat before class, I heard myself say, "The food I eat at 7am is all gone before 9am and safely in my bloodstream to keep my glycemic level even during class." Then it dawned on me. Why am I burping during class if the food is gone? Why is the burping keeping the nausea at bay?

I watched each pose, and looked for the effect each warmup pose had on my stomach. During the pose air was building in my lower abdomen. If I didn't release it between poses, it took up room and made me feel not only nauseous, but like I was suffocating, too. It was creating a ballon in my stomach. By doing small, slight burps between the poses, releasing this trapped air made room to take in more air, made normal breathing through the nose effortless, and that, in turn, kept my heart in check. The burping not only eliminated the nausea, but really made breathing very easy, even on the hottest and most humid days. I realized food was a non-issue. It was the trapped air causing both the nausea and breathing problems.

If you are plagued by nausea and/or breathing problems during class, give the burping a try. Such a small thing has alleviated so much discomfort for me, that I rarely have classes I don't enjoy.

Taking it outside the studio:
How many times is a small fix to a big issue right under our noses? Putting aside the frustration of not having something work right, and using a little keen observation to discover why it's not working, leads to many ah..ha moments that make life easier.

And so, as another day goes by, moms always do know best, and ...I have written.

And Off We Go...

Yes, TWO posts in ONE day! I do make myself proud! :)
Riding back home on the red line to Braintree my daughter texts us "thank you for coming. It was so much fun!" I answer her, then I get to thinking how we came together for a brief few hours, and now we are on our way back to our separate lives.

That's how it is with adult children. They are no longer at your breakfast table, but they are forever in your heart. It's wonderful to watch them go out and make their way in the world, so independent and successful. I'm lucky. Both of my girls are settled and happy in professional careers of their own making.

It's really nice how they make an effort to connect with us, and then text us thank you on our way home. They never fail to say "thank you". Tonight I'm just full of gratitude for my kids, my husband, and my home on the ocean.

Boston was magical tonight. Walking the softly lit streets outside of Fenway, in the rain, was serene and beautiful. Now, on the train heading home, arriving at the ocean with its own quiet sound of the waves splashing on the shore will be just as magical in a different way. I'll keep my window open just a crack so I can fall asleep to the sound of those waves.

And so, as another day has gone by, tonight I urge you to take note of the magic that surrounds you, wherever you are, and spend a minute or two in silent gratitude, and, again, I have written.

The Late-Great Rainout

Today we had tickets to the Yankees/Red Sox game in Boston. We were going to meet our daughter for dinner and the game. The weather didn't look promising - a certain rainout. At noon we talked to her and discussed meeting places.

I was ensconced in my recliner engrossed in the second book of The Shades of Grey trilogy, (which we will discuss another day), when around one o'clock the rain started pelting on the skylights and the wind was revving up. I looked at my husband and said, "Are you sure this is a good idea?" He called our daughter and we cancelled. I snuggled deeper in my chair with a hot cup of coffee, savoring not having to go out in this weather.

Two o'clock my husband gets a text from her. "I'm not doing anything if you guys just wanna come up and meet for dinner." I take one look at him and I'm up off my chair, in the shower and out of the house in forty minutes.

Why did we do this? Because we both know the day was about a lot more than baseball.

And so, as another day goes by, I sit in bridge traffic thinking how lucky we are that our adult children still value spending time with us; when they call, we go, because that's what parents do, and....I have written.

Inside & Out

Last night's yoga class was extremely hard for me because I was severely dehydrated from my weekend. In all the hustle n' bustle of moving my daughter I was not conscientious of the amount of water I did not drink. Knowing I was going to have the same teacher today and was once again going to be pushed beyond my max, I made sure that didn't happen again. In class this morning, my friend next to me quit some of the floor poses abruptly and the instructor asked if she was okay. She said she had a cramp in her calf. The instructor said it was not enough potassium. If you get leg and toe cramps, it's a sign you need to replace potassium.

Lying there in savasana, it struck me how much everything we cannot do inside that studio points out something we are doing or not doing outside the studio, and vice versa. The panic attacks I get when the humidity rises show me just how much I let my mind get away with. As soon that happened last night, I immediately thought, practice gently, move very slow going in and out of each posture, waste no energy on extra or fast movements, and this resulted in normal breathing, and the panic subsided.

Over the weekend when we were all tired and still had much to do, I felt myself going to a place I always defaulted to - snapping at everyone and feeling sorry for myself because I'm tired and just want to quit. This time as soon as that feeling came over me, I reacted the way I do to panic attacks in the studio. I immediately reigned it in, regained composure, took back control of my mind and relaxed. It was a defining moment. It turned my night around and made life easier for everyone else. I ended up staying the night and taking the pressure off - which I would've ended up doing anyway. The result would've been the same, but only after a lot being upset and then wasting more time calming down.

Everyone says "Do yoga. It centers you." What they don't tell you is it takes over a year of working with yourself in a completely private place, away from the rest of your world, to even begin to know what that means. It takes a whole lot of self-study to have everything emanate out from within you, instead of being a defensive, knee-jerk reaction to everything coming toward you.

And so, as another day goes by, I find taking the time to learn who I am is sometimes uncomfortable, but it definitely is the road to a more peaceful existence, and....I have written.

The Hunger Games

Yesterday I started reading The Hunger Games at 4pm and, with the exception of time out for when Syracuse was playing, I finished it at 1am. Wow. It was a fast moving, easy read, but also a very hard read. (I did dream about being the head of my own post apocalyptic world after trying to sleep so soon after finishing it - I was really gorgeous...but that's another story.)

I spent all day today thinking about just how I felt about it. The story certainly is thought provoking, but it takes my mind in so many directions, I just couldn't settle on just one. What I really liked was the subtle backstory between Katniss and her mom. I imagined that would continue in the second book. I just started the second book today and sure enough, it did. I figured since I couldn't settle on one train of thought for book one, I'd go on to book two and give myself more time.

The book is well-written and the characters are portrayed with just the right amounts of good and evil, graced with mystery, always leaving the reader wanting more. I was skeptical about the all-ages thing, but it's true - everyone will enjoy it from teens right on up. One thing I appreciated was Collins kept it mostly realistic - like this could happen and stayed away from too much paranormal like in the Twilight series. For me, that made the scary things even more scary. All the while I was reading I had a feeling of someone shaking their finger at us saying, "See! See what could happen if things don't straighten up in this country?" Daunting. If you haven't already seen the movie, or, even if you have, I highly recommend this read. I also love that it is a trilogy because I was definitely not ready to leave the characters behind at the end of the book. Too many questions left unanswered.

And so, as another day goes by, back to Catching Fire, wrangling with my thoughts, and...I have written.

Ye Ole Neighborhood

It's been a rough week. Lots of appointments and commitments, but also some revisiting of old ghosts. After you've worked hard, moved on after loss, restructured your life, made new goals, you end up a little exhausted. That leaves you vulnerable. When you're vulnerable, things you fought and thought you came to terms with in the past, sneak up on you.
That has been my story this week.

I had to go right back to my five principles I learned last year:
1. Be a vehicle for the spirit
2. Give gratitude
3. Practice deference
4. Be custodial and take care of all God has given you
5. God provides the energy for all you do

In addition to going back to these, I needed to rest and regain my strength. As in anything that's hard, once you feel you've conquered it, you once again think you're invincible and immune. It's like recovering from a physical illness or injury - the minute you feel better, you think it's over and you can resume your normal pace or don't need your medication anymore, and we all know that is never true. All of a sudden, whoops, a piece of shrapnel gets loose.

Today I had to come back to NY to get my car inspected. The timing was perfect. I needed a change of venue, time with my husband and dad, and the warm blanket of returning to the town of my past. Tonight we went out for dinner and drinks at a favorite local haunt, and it just felt comfortable.

When the path starts getting confusing, stop and run back to what you know. Go to where you found comfort in the past. It's like getting a drink of water when your throat is parched. Ask for comfort from your Higher Power. Revisit old haunts. Connect with those you know love you no matter what. Give gratitude you have places of comfort and sustenance to go to.

And so, as another day goes by, I am so thankful for all that my past has provided to help me with my future, and ... I have written.