Another Day Goes By

All The Answers

I always have all the answers. Name a problem and I'll have the fix. And if I don't, I'll die trying to find it. Once in awhile, on Twitter, the Oprah flipboard will have something that catches my eye. Today it was a post by Martha Beck on "Overhelpers Anonymous". Overhelper is the word that flagged me. That's me. That's a good word for always having the right answer - many times you end up an Overhelper.

There really are times when one must use deference, and, even though you know in the depths of your heart, you have the answer, the very thing that will fix everything, make it all better, make everyone happy again, you can't offer it. There are reasons you have to hold back, and as hard as it is, you have to keep your mouth shut. This isn't easy. Your need to help is about to burst out of you. Me? I either have to write about it or talk to someone about it to reassure myself that keeping quiet is what I must do. Why? That's the catch 22 - because it's the best way to help.

Sometimes people you love must be allowed to discover things on their own, so they can "own" them. Sometimes a person is not in the right frame of mind, or in a good place, and not ready to hear your wonderful, cure all, wisdom. To offer it at the wrong time would be like trying to tell a person in a coma why they are in the hospital. When the time is wrong, and we have the info but know we cannot share it, Julia Cameron offered this bit of wisdom in today's reading in the Artist's Way Everyday:

"As we ask, believe, and are open to receive, we are gently led." ~ Julia Cameron

From this I get sit quietly. Let God gently lead and guide. Chances are the project has been His all along anyway. Let Him finish His work. Sometimes He gives us the answers first to allow us to breath in the ah-ha moment and adjust to it ourselves, before we can effectively share it. Be gently led.

And so, as another day goes by, I share the link to the Overhelpers Anonymous post below because it is tremendously insightful, and ...I have written.

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Martha-Beck-Overhelpers-Anonymous

Thank God For Bread

Everyday at the end of yoga class, I have a lot of energy and fight to bring myself to lay there after the class is over for the suggested 3-5 minutes. I do know jumping right up and running out into the cold lobby is not a good idea, so I had to devise a way to keep myself still for a few minutes. I decided I'd close my eyes and recite the Lord's Prayer. Now, I can recite that in less than ten seconds, so clearly I needed some rules to this new ritual. In addition to reciting it slowly and with meaning, I decided I had to visualize each sentence in my mind. That did the trick. It keeps me in place on that mat for just enough time to loose that urge to jump up and run, allowing me to relax for a few minutes.

The best picture I enjoy during the prayer is the part that says "give us this day our daily bread". Since I was five years old I've always had the same picture of a perfect slice of white bread (a huge one) sliding out from an opening in the sky. Of course, at five, the only meaning I could derive from that picture was that God would give me food everyday so I wouldn't starve to death.

Today that "food" idea is extremely different. In the month or so that I have been using the prayer, I began to see a little pattern where somehow, someway, each day God would drop "food" along my path, usually in the form of a concept or idea that helped me with whatever life situation I was currently wrestling with.

Just looking back over this past week, I began to picture slices of bread with messages written on them. Then I realized I would like to save the "bread slices" so I can use them as affirmations in weak moments. In any learning, growing, self-actualization journey we get excited when we stumble on a helpful concept, it boosts us up for a few days, then we lose it just in time for that weak moment when we find ourselves falling and revisiting our problem.

My remedy is a daily bread journal. Everyone knows I write everything on my phone, but for this I'm going to use actual paper because I want to draw the slices of bread and write on them. Some of the slices for this past week were:
-letting go doesn't mean giving up
-in spite of your fear, do what you have to do
-after you've done all you can, just stand

They came from quotes, cards, and songs dropped in front of me just when I needed them. But now it's Friday and as I reflect on my week, it would be nice to be able to quickly flip through a book and be reminded of what God had taught me this week. Also, drawing the bread, coloring the brown crust, getting the angle right, and writing on it will reinforce the words deeper because I'll have to concentrate on them a lot longer than if I just wrote them on my phone.

Using the Lord's Prayer to keep me on that mat everyday just may result in another very useful book.

And so, as another day goes by, I believe in Jesus, Bikram, and a good bottle of wine - not a bad way to roll, and.. I have written.

Just Stand

Last night I was watching Smash, a new show that I've really enjoyed this season. It was nice to see a show not about crime and punishment or housewives. It was nice to see a theater setting instead of a hospital. All in all, it kept my interest to the point that I DVR'd it so as not to miss an episode. That's highly unusual for me, as I DVR very few shows, and that is the barometer I use to rate my level of enjoyment of yet another network creation.

Smash took a turn last night, one that, somehow I never expected. The one character invited the theater cast to his church for a Sunday service, in which both he and Katherine McPhee (whom I'm glad to see finally being able to showcase her talent), performed. It was the song they performed that got my attention. The song was called "Just Stand". The line that reverberated in my brain for the last 24 hours is:

"When you've done all you possibly can, then just stand."

What a line of hope. Just stand.

When you've said all there is to say, done all there is to do, written all the words there are to write, analyzed all there is to analyze, walked all the roads there are to walk, driven all the miles there were to drive, asked all the questions that could be asked, prayed all the prayers there were to pray, cried all the tears there were to cry...you might think, I'm now at the end of my rope. There is no more to do. You've exhausted all the possibilities on this earth, physically, within your reach, and are standing at the edge of helplessness and despair. This song provides the answer. The one thing you didn't try.

Just stand.

Two words. So simple. Just stand with no expectations or thoughts. Just stand and trust the process. Give your God full, unencumbered reign. Don't expect Him to "do this or maybe that". Don't do, don't think, don't say, don't ask, or don't even pray anything.

Just stand.

And so, as another day goes by, for the second time in two days a few simple words changed the way I do business in this life, and ...I have written.

Photo: Now I know why I had my husband take this photo on Sunday. Taken at the Adirondack Museum, Blue Mountain Lake in upstate NY on our MG joyride. I remember this chair from numerous school field trips.

Even On Easter

Even on Easter, when God has his own big thing to celebrate today, he continues to care enough about my meager life and place yet another piece of his current theme for my days in my path. So far he's spoken to me on the topic of not giving up through books, music, meditation, and my own yoga practice over the past few weeks. Today I learn that "taking a knee" does not mean weakness or a sign of giving up.

I subscribe to a great blog called My Bikram Yoga life. This morning I got the email announcing a new post. The post actually dealt with "doing a double" (taking two classes in one day). The post was good, but it's words were not what spoke to me. Way down on the bottom there was a link to another yoga blog and the post title was "Sitting Down In Bikram Yoga: What it says about you."

My first thought was "It says I give up easily. It means I'm not tough enough." Then, of course, I read the post. In it, the very insightful author taught me about being brave, respectful, connected, and humble - all hidden in "taking a knee". You don't have to be a yoga enthusiast to embrace these concepts. I have included the link below so you, too, can see that "sitting down" for a bit is not in any way an indication of weakness or giving up - both in and out of the studio.

And so, as another Easter Sunday goes by, I find it fitting to "be brought to my knees" on this day, and ....I have written.
http://justherejustnow.wordpress.com/

Do You Know St. Anthony?

My mother-in-law did. I lived with my mother-in-law for five years. She was staunch Italian and believed in ghosts and Jesus. No one, and my daughters will second this, ever brought the spirit world closer to us than my mother-in-law.

For five years, whenever she lost something, I watched her pray to St. Anthony and remain calm for weeks and months, confident she'd find it. One time, she lost a gold bracelet my father-in-law had given her. He passed away and this made her really sad. It was the dead of winter when she lost it. She prayed to St. Anthony like she always did, then let it go. Do you believe five months later my sister found it in her driveway when the snow melted? And that wasn't the only time. Getting up there in years, she lost a lot of things around the house. She'd say her prayer and pretty soon she'd find the lost object. One time it was $300, so I figured I'd better pay attention - she had something here.

About a month ago my husband lost a ring that he had made with diamonds and rubies that she had given him before she died. He was beside himself. Now, normally when my husband is upset about something, I am too. This time I was strangely peaceful. I did what Mom B always did. I prayed to St. Anthony. I didn't get upset over the loss. I just knew he'd find that ring.

Weeks were going by. He figured out that he lost it at a gas station while getting gas. He went back there to inquire about it. The owner was wonderful and promised to look for it as the snow melted. My husband had given up all hope after going back to the station to ask again two or three times. He would always tell me it's gone forever. I did feel sorry for him, but I remained strangely peaceful.

Ten minutes ago he texted me with a picture of the ring. It fell off in his iPad bag and he found it while cleaning. What can I say?

And so, as another day goes by, there's definitely power in things unseen, and I have written.

Return To Power

I just can't move off of II Tim 1:7. (Regular readers probably have memorized this verse along with me.)

"God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but one of power, love, and self-discipline."

I get love and self-discipline, but I waffle on power. Today I came upon a thought provoking statement about power.

"Originally, the word power meant "able to be". In time, it was contracted to mean "to be able". We suffer the difference." ~ Nepo

I suffer the difference. When considering "able to be", I take it as whatever I have inside of me that I can use to be the best I can be, to help however and wherever I can. I used to wear a goddess necklace that was engraved on the back with:

"Live your life and forget your age." Norman Vincent Peale

That little quote, with the necklace jingling around my neck to remind me of it, gave me inner power to not succumb to the "aging" thing. That was over two years ago. Recently I came across it and put a new piece of black cord on it and slipped it over my head. Once again I'm infused with the energy to try new things at almost 60 and keep moving. Ten of the fourteen pounds I set out to tackle in the fall are gone. My book is in the rewriting stage. Yoga is five days a week. A forty minute exercise program in the late afternoon is in place. I'm doing pencil drawing and water color. I belong to a blog group, a book club, and Cape Cod Writers. I'd say over two years I got a lot of mileage out of this little goddess.

That inner power is all well and good, but what did I learn about the worldly power? The "to be able" one that controls people and things? Well, at the end of the passage Nepo always presents a few meditative questions and today I sat and answered them. Thinking back on every time in my life I felt I needed to resort to this type of power, change the places and names, but the answers were always the same.

1. Sit quietly and recall a situation in which you exerted control.
- I thought of many.....
2. What did having a sense of control do for you?
- It gave me security from loss
3. What did having a sense of control require of you?
- It required me to run around in circles and become obsessed with maintaining it.
4. How much of your control was necessary?
- None. I had all I ever wanted without even trying - just relaxing being myself would have been enough, but I never saw it until it was too late.
5. What would have happened if you had let others join you on your hill of control?
- The need to control would've disappeared and security would've prevailed with peace, and the outer power would've been converted to inner power by sharing and connecting.

I have one more question to add:
6. What happened when you tried to do it all yourself?
- I lost the things I was trying so hard to hold onto. (Ironically, a Dr. Philism)

Obviously I learned worldly control is never a good thing. This outer control, the power "to be able", is the control God wants us to surrender to Him. Let Him sit on the hill with us. Let Him provide the security. Let Him stop our crazy running around to try to hold onto that which we are afraid of losing.

Surrendering the worldly power "to be able" to God, leaves us open for Him to infuse us with inner power so we are "able to be" the best we can be for whatever He has planned for our lives in this world.

And so, as another day goes by, the goddess is resurrected, inner power is the focus, and ....I have written.

To REALLY Love

Valentine's Day is not just for lovers. It is for love, period. Every one of us has at least one person we love. Most of us have have as many as five people that are not mere acquaintances, or even close friends, but something more. I'm talking about those few people we can count on one hand who we love as God loves us. Those few that our love for them does not depend on how they act toward us, how they treat us, or whether or not they even respect us. Our love for these certain few just is and always will be. It doesn't depend on anything they do or not do. It doesn't even matter whether or not they make any effort to return our love. A few years ago bracelets with WWJD were all the rage. What would Jesus do? Jesus would love us like this. God loves us like this, without asking for us to do anything in return. We don't have to go to church or do good works. There are no rules or requirements or even any way to earn God's love. It's just there. We do what Jesus would do and we live them like this.

Most of us have a few people we love like that. A kind of love that connects two people with a thin silver thread that absolutely cannot be broken, no matter what. A thread that both people hang onto through the hurricanes. A thread that leads people back to each other in spite of all the world does to separate them. A thread that they both hang onto in, under, and through it all. A thread that assures them they'll both still be there after the storms have passed.

Below I'm sharing a favorite picture that I have shared in past blogs because it says it all. The fishhooks signify this kind of love. When a fishhook pierces the flesh of the fish the spikes prevent it from coming back out, no matter what. This is the kind of love we are meant to celebrate today. Love for a few people that has pierced the flesh of our hearts and due to the spikes, cannot be removed, no matter what because "Love never fails".

My heart goes out to one girl today that had that kind of love for someone. Bobbi Christina had that kind of love for her mother. A piece of my heart breaks off for this young girl who now has to learn to live without the mother that meant everything to her. I know. I know because I have a handful of people that I love like this. People that I'll love no matter what they do or do not do to me.

I believe this is the kind of love Valentine's Day is meant to celebrate. Look to those you love like this today, make sure they know it, and have a very happy Valentine's Day.

And so, as another day goes by, figuring out love is a life-long process, and celebrating it should be too, and....I have written.

"Duh"

You know the old adage where the shoemaker's children are the ones without shoes? I'm certainly a member of this school. Being a teacher for many years, the philosophy of learning that I firmly believed in was spiral teaching - reviewing everything learned for a few seconds each day and gradually adding new concepts to the queue. Throughout my thirty years in education it is the only method I've ever found to be tried and true. Spiral teaching results in learning that becomes part of a person. The concepts just don't live fleetingly in the mind, but are actually assimilated into the person's being and are drawn upon automatically, without thinking.

All that being said, here I sit, the classic example of the shoemaker. I was made aware of this in a passage I read this morning on simplicity, compassion, and patience. I also need to add surrender to this list. I spent a great deal of time last year exploring these concepts and "learning" them. Yet, this year, Valentine's Day weekend, I'm no better off than I was last year on this very same weekend. All week, in the back of my mind, I've been asking myself, "How can that be?" Then, a piece of wisdom shared by Mark Nepo in an essay reminded me about spiral learning.

I went about my journey last year changing and growing and learning to be a better me, but every time I came upon a new piece of learning, I'd drop the old and rush headlong into trying to master something new. How did I ever expect hard things like patience and surrender to ever be automatic to me if I dropped them by the wayside on my quest for something new?

Today I'm reminded that patience and surrender must be worked on for a few minutes everyday and not dropped on the side of the road when I'm being enamored by new things. Within minutes, in another book, I came across this:

"The hardest part of surrendering is remembering to do it." ~ Melody Beattie

That was a "duh" moment for me. Recently I got myself caught back in the sticky web of a relationship I had worked so hard last year to surrender. One small blip on the radar and there I am, mired down, feet and hands stuck in the web, wondering, "How did I ever end up back here?" Duh. The hardest part of surrendering is remembering to do it.

When I was in college some forty years ago I got a handmade gift from someone who is still today my very best friend and spiritual mentor. On the night that I surrendered my life to God, an old hymn was being sung. (As my other best friend would say, it was my "come to Jesus" moment- I love this friend for lightening up the heavy times in my life.) That night I was brought to my knees, with tears streaming down my face. My friend held my hand as we sang the hymn together. Her sister was an artist. A few weeks later, for my birthday, my friend presented me with the song lyrics, framed, and done in pen and ink, with the sides of the pages decorated in artwork. The name of the song was "I Surrender All".

For the past thirty eight years that picture hung in every bedroom I ever slept in so I would not forget the huge moment that changed my life. In November of 2010 I repainted my current bedroom. I put away all my wall decor to redo the room. Somehow that picture never made it back onto the wall. I haven't woken up to that message in over a year. And I wonder why I'm back in the sticky web. One more time - "duh".

And so, as another day goes by, I know what I'm doing as soon as I get back home on Monday, and ...I have written.
~ Mark Nepo - The Book of Awakening
(Haha - no pun intended, but once again, it's fun that it's there.)

Jesus Goes Viral

Resetting the Compass - Day 23

On CBS This Morning a provocative "love Jesus" video that went viral in 24 hours, was being discussed. The video was of a young man reciting a poem he wrote conveying his message that he hates religion, but loves Jesus. There was also a member of the clergy at the table. The young man believes getting locked into churches and religions undermines a pure relationship with Jesus. The clergyman pointed out that he was also dismissing all the good churches do and the vast number of people they help. For instance, he said in natural disasters the churches are the first to offer aid. The young man agreed and said he didn't mean to dismiss any of that. Finally, the two of them, along with the news anchors, came to the conclusion that it was the hypocrisy in churches he was speaking out against.

I don't know if just me, because I'm on the upside of a spiritual journey, but it seems Jesus is taking up more than normal news time lately. The previous weeks were filled with Tebowing and now a college student has a video on his opinion of religion and his belief in Jesus get over a million hits in 24 hours. Could we, as a society, be seeking something in this unstable world we live in? Or...is Jesus seeking something in us?

My thoughts on churches and organized religion run a little rampid. A favorite author of spiritual things, Max Lucardo, must've read my mind and taken my thoughts and put them into words like I never could on this subject. In fact, he made my thoughts into a beautiful piece I like to title as "Just...What If.." I offer it for you own musing below.

And so, as another day goes by, this year I will visit some nearby churches and check out the hearts inside, and....I have written.

Tim Tebow - I Am Infuriated!

I can just hear Mrs. O on The Talk. "I am appalled! Imagine! A member of the clergy saying that!" Yesterday I felt like Mrs O.
Resetting the Compass - Day 12

Last night, on the Boston news, they went to a few churches in Boston and asked the pastors how they felt about Tim Tebow making such a blatant show of his faith on the football field. One pastor's comment caused me to lift my head up from my book and say, "What? Did he really say that?" This one clergyman, standing in front of his grandiose church, actually said, and I quote, "I think God has better things to do than worry about whether or not Tim Tebow wins a football game." Again, in Mrs. O's English accent, "Imagine!"

God cares about the THINGS of every living plant, animal, and person on this Earth. Football is Tim Tebow's THING. God cares very much about it for that reason. I'm a nobody and God cares about my THING. In God's eyes, my THING and Tim Tebow's THING are equally as important. Each and every one of our THINGS is of equal importance to God - right up there with world peace and the economy. That's why He's God. He is omnipotent. He doesn't have to prioritize. Each one of our tiny, minute, prayers is of paramount importance to Him. For that pastor to stand there and say God has better things to do than listen to Tim Tebow is, as I so know Mrs. O would say, "Appalling!"

You see, it's not the football game itself that engages God. It's the work God does in Tim Tebow through the use of the game that means so much to him. For that pastor to dismiss what is important to Tim and suggest God feels the same way, makes me both mad and sad. Sad for the people that go to that church and listen to the teachings of such a man, and mad that a clergyman would even propose such a thing.

If I take away anything from this incident to help reset my compass this year, I come away with a renewed realization of just how important each and every thing I do and say, every second of every day, is to God. I matter. You matter. Tim Tebow and his football game matter.

And so, as another day goes by, this morning I thanked God that we have 50 yard line seats, fourth row up, right behind the Patriot's bench, for this game....and I have written.