Another Day Goes By

Cape Cod Bear

Ok, this has been a big weekend for Cape Cod. Sunday night, sitting around the campfire, a Facebook friend who lives down the road a piece in Barnstable, posts there's a bear roaming Cape Cod. What? How would a bear get on Cape Cod? We're an island, for God's sake.

As the evening went on, police helicopters roared overhead on their way to Barnstable to check out this bear phenomenon. My friend went out of her way to silence the nay-sayers and posted the police reports. I went to bed wondering how in the world a bear got across that bridge. There are only 3 ways to get here - cross one of two bridges or swim the canal.

The next day my good friend at yoga and her boys go driving around their Barnstable neighborhood looking for the bear. They strike out after driving around for quite awhile. On the way home they see the bear on the side of the road. This is no hoax. He's here. Here looking for food in everyone's backyard. My friend's 13 year old son, Liam Crivillaro, videos the bear climbing a tree on the side of the road. The video went Cape Cod viral. Boston and Fox news were immediately in their driveway wanting to use the video on the news, and the Cape Cod times featured Liam in two articles in today's paper. The news stations have been featuring Liam and his video on TV for two days.

The Cape Cod Bear is causing quite a frenzy. The environmental people say he swam across the canal. The best place to find out about the Cape Cod Bear? Twitter! The noon news at WBZ channel 4 Boston announced the Cape Cod Bear has his own twitter account.

Check him and his travels out on twitter:

https://twitter.com/#!/Ccodbear

So much fun having a bear on Cape Cod!

And so, as another day goes by, the Cape Cod Bear rules, and...for the second time today...I have written.
She saw "The Bear".

Comcast

Comcast. That's all I can say, because I don't believe this. Over the weekend my husband and I decided to join the 21st century and update the TV's in both our NY apartment and cape house. Both houses still had huge, heavy, tube TV's that our kids just laugh at. Off we went to Best Buy where we got a deal for two nice flat-screens for the price of one. We were in NY, so the cape TV went in my trunk for me to take back on Monday. We spent the day going to the cable office, where we also got a great deal on HD and wireless Internet. My husband even got the MLB package free. They gave us a nifty wireless router and the Internet in our apartment now runs at lightening speed. Kudos to Time Warner. Notice I said Time Warner. We have Time Warner Cable in NY.

Moving on to New England. On Monday I brought my other new TV home, but didn't have time to hook it up until today. I decided it's been years since I had a cable makeover here and I needed a thing called an HDMI cable, so I headed over to my local Comcast office. Notice I said Comcast. On the way, I decided I'd ask them for one of those nifty wireless routers like Time Warner gave us in NY because I've been running the first Apple Airport ever made out here in this house. (I wasn't kidding about the 21st century). At the office I tell the lady I need a cable makeover and an HDMI cable for my new TV. She redoes my cable package and now I have tons of HD and premium channels. Next I ask her for a wireless router. She said, "We don't have those."

"What?"
"We don't have those."
"I just got one Saturday from Time Warner in NY."
"We don't do that. You use the same one you have and go out and buy your own hub and plug it in to that."

Do you believe this? In this day and age of technology, COMCAST doesn't have wireless routers.

I've come to realize that going to the cable office rates right up there with going to the DMV.

And so, as another day goes by, at least I now have the OWN channel so I can watch Oprah's Life Lessons to learn how to cope with utility offices, and...I have written.

An Image of God

Yesterday morning the national news reported that wealthy people are more apt to lie, cheat, and steal than those of us that are not wealthy. Why? Why is that? Don't they already have it all? This thought crossed my mind, but I let go.

Later in the afternoon I was reading with the tv on in the background. Dr. Phil was on with the mother-in-law from hell. He had her son and his wife on his left and her on his right. This woman was amazing. She'd call them ten or more times a day. Leave countless voice mails. She badgered them until they moved far away, got engaged and married without ever telling her. She lost them and couldn't for the life of her figure out why. I caught bits and pieces of their story, but what I mostly heard was Dr. Phil's frustration with not being able to reason with her. I was reading along in my "how to edit your own work" book when I heard Dr. Phil exclaim pretty loud, "You have to get your fear under control or you're going to lose them for good." Then, in a more gentle voice, with impact unique to Dr. Phil, he said, "You are behaving in this obsessive way because of your fear of losing them." At the mention of the word fear my head snapped up. Fear is the cause of a lot of our behaviors that make messes out of certain areas of our lives.

The wealthy people? Why are they more apt to lie, cheat, and steal? Simple. They fear losing all they have. When you fear losing anything that means anything to you, you resort to extreme behaviors, usually outside of you character.

Over this past year I have not only experienced this, but recognized it before it was too late and fought my way out of it. I feel for the mother-in-law and the wealthy people. Fear incites the "king of the hill" syndrome and life suddenly becomes a fight to stay there. When we sit back and look at people who are rich and successful we tend to say "How lucky!" and "Maybe I'll win the lottery". Not me. Fear and the urgency to hang onto things stopped me in my tracks and spun me around in the other direction. I now make it a goal to shed what I don't need and only keep what is necessary. I've learned to do it with prudence as opposed to keeping EVERYTHING out of fear of loss and using panic to do it.

I'm reading a wonderful book by Max Lucado called Fearless: Imagine Your Life Without Fear. Lucado is one of my spiritual gurus of choice. A line from the book that impacted me was:

"Courage emerges not from increased police security, but from enhanced spiritual maturity."

For me, that holds very true. Instead of succumbing to the fear that had me by the neck, squeezing the very life out of me, I chose to research it. In the mind of an educator, having information gives you the power to overcome. That's one of the reasons teaching a child to read was so important to me. Having the skill of discovering information, gives a child the power to save oneself for the rest of their life.

If fear has you in it's grip to the point where it's crippling your daily life, stand up to it. Find out about it. Find out how it infiltrates your person without you even knowing that's what it is. Whether it's fear or anything else attacking your peace of mind and corrupting your joy, research it. Once you come to understand something, you take back the power it has over you. You become well-equipped to finding a way of overcoming it, rather than succumbing to it. Just the power you regain in not feeling helpless is a huge step toward recovering, repairing the damage, and saving yourself.
In this verse I've mentioned before:

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but one of power, love, and self-discipline." II Timothy 1:7

I'm thinking reading, researching, and acquiring information is part of that spirit of power God has given us. We probably should use it more.

And so, as another day goes by, sometimes God looks like Dr. Phil, and..I have written.

Clarice! Wow!

Most people who know me know that I am well-acquainted with daytime TV, from the morning news, right on through the afternoon talk shows. They yammer away in the background as I go about my business of blogging, editing my book, researching my book, or practicing my daily pencil drawing exercises. Today I was irritated by the endless parade of artists promoting their films, books, and music - it just seemed excessive for some reason today, more than most. Then, ping, an email dropped into my phone alerting me to a post by a fellow blogger whose writing, wit, and wisdom I love. I stopped what I was doing and read her post. She wrote about the impact a favorite movie character had on motivating her to forge out and take a risk. (I will let her tell her own story - the link to her blog appears below.)

After reading her post I was somewhat saddened about the current state of the arts in our schools. The school I taught at in New York State is in severe financial trouble, as are most in our country today. They are threatened with laying off 32 teachers and cutting all music, art, and technology programs. My friend was sincerely impacted by the work of an artist in film. Who is going influence our children if the arts are cut from our schools? They will receive their influence from tv and Internet, but how are they going to achieve their dreams and realize their potential if they can't touch that saxophone in third grade? What if they never get to staple together that book they wrote in kindergarten, or do that amazing charcoal mural in high school?

Artists truly impact our lives. We want to be them. We want to be the characters they invent and portray. They in turn, sooth and heal us with their stories and music. They show us heroes in movies do exist in our worlds if we just stop and look around. They write books about the real and human condition, assuring us we are not alone. They motivate us to be more than we ever thought we could be. In short, all those involved in books, movies, and music play a huge part in helping us find our way in our worlds.

Pause with me and think about how a current movie, book, or song is currently influencing you. Today I'm reading The Children's Picture Book by Ellen Roberts. The children's books she sites are all books I've used for years in my kindergarten classroom by authors and illustrators I admire. I remember how I used their stories and pictures to teach children important concepts and life lessons. They have inspired me to want to talk to children through the printed word. I want to write a book that teachers can use to speak to the hearts of children.

How were you influenced by an artist's work today? Is there anything you can do to help keep the arts in your local schools? I thank my friend for bringing up an important point for me to ponder as the Ellen show winds down.

And so, as another day goes by, I apologize to Jennifer Aniston for being annoyed by her getting her Hollywood star, as I do appreciate her work on the big screen, and ...I have written.
~ Link to my friend's blog...enjoy!
http://www.freesialane.com/2012/02/23/silence-of-the-lambs-and-me/

The "Adele of the Ball" Impact

Nicki Minaj's performance was beyond elaborate and expensive to put on. Yet it was tweeted as "people were outraged" by it. Adele - with just a black dress and a microphone resulted in six Grammys and everyone is enamored with her. Why is that?

I don't think it's a judgement of each artist's style. I think it's due to the current climate in our country. America is hurting right now. The economy and government are a mess. Job loss is the plight of many. People are seriously ill. Families lost loved ones. Significant others have left each other. Parents and children are estranged. There is a lot of loss. Pain is running rampant in a lot of lives. America needs a bandaid. Music empathizes and heals. Music understands. America, in general, seems to be seeking music that will stop the bleeding. Songs about sex, drugs, alcohol and, obviously, exorcism, delivered with extravagance and gimmick just don't seem to be giving people what helps in these rough times. A black dress, a microphone, a big voice, and songs that were written from the heart are making America fall in love. Songs that say "I feel your pain", and "I walked in your shoes", and sung simply, with passion, seem to be what we crave in these uncertain days.

I, myself, gravitate there lately, too. 21 was an album I played often during my difficult times last year. It's an album that understands real, heart wrenching, loss. I remember crying while walking on the beach as "Set Fire To The Rain" coursed through my soul. "Take It All" just knew my heart inside and out. "One and Only" was sung with such deep passion that resonated inside me I would find myself playing it at least two or three times. The album, to me, is a masterpiece that certainly deserved Album of the Year.

Adele was also impressive in her 60 minutes interview. I love how she said she doesn't have to look like a skinny pop star and wear skimpy clothes to sell her records. Adele is a wonderful example for our young girls. She sends the message that it's what you do in life, what your passion is and how you use it to help others, rather than having to look a certain way, to succeed. She said even if she were thin, she would still dress elegant. It's about her songs. It's about her voice. It's about the passion with which she puts the two together that draws people in.

It was refreshing to see simplicity rule in in today's music. So many times I go to a concert all excited to be taken away by someone's voice and nine times out of ten I'm disappointed because the band, costumes, and stage antics completely drown out the performer's voice and the passion is lost on me. Dave Grohl's point was well-taken. It's not about the stage production. You learn to play your guitar, you write your songs, and get out there and do your job. It's about what's in the heart and in the mind that counts. Though I am a huge fan of Lady Gaga, the only times I really enjoy her are when it's just her, her piano, her music written from the heart and sung with passion, coupled with her fierce piano playing. Maybe, in music today, less really is more.

And so, as another day goes by, just a mic, a black dress, a big voice, and songs from the heart, sung with passion, certainly pack a wallop - who knew? And...I have written.

Improving Things

Sitting here watching Romney and Gingrich lambaste each other on the noontime news, assures me of two things. One, I could never be a public figure. I don't have the skin for it. Tell me one bad thing about myself and poof! - my campaign would be over. This first thing tells me the second thing - I need to improve myself in a few areas.

Normally when I approach improving something about myself it is with a heavy heart. Having things to improve just points out how far away from the the image I have of myself being this person perfect in all areas of life. Knowing full well neither I or anyone else can ever achieve that state of perfection, just makes my heart heavier. So what am I striving for?

Today I came across something that changed my thinking on this matter. It said:

"I have to improve myself. I don't say that because I'm flawed or unworthy, but because that is what life is all about. Life is about growth and development, not stagnation."

The piece went on to compare us to stagnant water. Water is not meant to be stagnant. It ferments and cannot be used for anything. Water is meant to be mixed with new water, not stand on it's own, with no new influence. And herein lies the reason why we cannot ever reach a state of perfection - because it really would be a state of stagnation.

Wow. That's a load off my mind. The state of perfection I always sought doesn't really exist because we are meant to stay in motion. Always meeting new people. Always trying new things. Always watching our world and examining new ideas. Always getting into trouble and then facing the challenges of getting out of it. These things are the essence of life. The thing to strive for is staying in their motion. There is no perfect state, no place over the rainbow where troubles melt like lemon drops. And...the best part of this little nugget of truth? It's good. In fact, it's pretty awesome.

We are meant to be on a constant path of self-improvement. Life is never going to be a bowl of cherries. And, that's alright. Life is made up of trials and triumphs and mundane days. Moving through them, constantly growing and changing as a result of them, is how we avoid the stagnation of the mind, body and spirit.

Once again, changing my thinking changes my perspective. I need to improve myself not because "I'm flawed or unworthy, but because that is what life is all about."

And so, as another day goes by, sometimes the simplest things are right in front of us, tripping us up, showing us a new path, and....I have written.

Cut!

Today was a day filled with the aftermath of the big game. While the Pats weren't down ten at halftime, I did have the rest predicted right and those that made the big mistakes in the last fifteen seconds, lost - my team, the Patriots. I'm not going to focus on this most painful loss, but on the class of one almost member of the Super Squad.

Twenty four hours before getting to go to his first Super Bowl, Tiquan Underwood was cut from the Patriot team. He dreamed and worked for this moment his entire life, and although he was a seldom used player, going to the Super Bowl on the New England Patriot team was a dream beyond all dreams - regardless of whether or not he played in it. Within hours of his big moment he was cut from the team. Underwood took the huge disappointment with class, unlike Tom Brady's wife, who, when taunted, threw the rest of the team under the bus by remarking, "My husband can't throw the %#*# ball and catch it too!". This woman needs to take some lessons in class and sportsmanship. When Underwood commented publicly on his unfortunate disappointment, he simply tweeted:

"It just makes me stronger. Tough times never last, but tough people do."

I heard both of these incidents on the radio today while driving. I was having a weak moment of my own over a disappointment. Guess which individual lifted me up in my day right when I needed it?

We need to remember our thoughts, actions, and words reach far and wide and we never know who we are touching, especially in this world of social media. If you had the chance to influence someone today, what would you want them to come away with?

And so, as another day goes by, makes me think twice about my random tweets and posts, and ....I have written.

I Need To Vent...Again!

I had a perfectly wonderful blog written in my head for today about my philosophy of life and people. Then I sat down to watch The Talk. Since the show changed two of the hosts this season I have been so unhappy with it that I couldn't even write about it yet. I sit here and keep trying, after five months, to "give it another chance". Today sealed the deal. Cheryl Underwood just makes a joke out of everything and never gives an honest opinion of anything. On the other hand, Aisha Tyler is so overly critical and cynical on so many topics that it's hard to learn from and respect her opinions.

Today Julie Chen (and we'll save discussing her hand in this for another day), read an email Giselle, Tom Brady's wife, wrote to her close friends and family asking for prayer for Tom's team to win the Super Bowl this Sunday. She remarked that he and his team worked so hard to get where they are that she would ask for prayer and positive energy be sent their way. Immediately Tyler went off on "Oh please God put aside all the hunger and war and terror and babies dying in the world, and have my husband's team win the football game!" Her criticism was that Giselle and Tom are so well off, lead charmed lives, and how dare they pray for something like winning a football game.

I'm sorry, but no one, and I mean no one, has the right to criticize in any way what another human being prays for. The life they lead and the money they have does not preclude them from loving each other and praying, out of that love, for things that are important in each other's lives and careers. Also how presumptuous of Tyler to think she can vocalize what is important to God. The mere fact that she thinks God is not omnipotent enough to have to prioritize the things he cares about and blesses in our lives leads me to believe she doesn't have an intimate relationship with God.

The Super Bowl is the most important event in the lives of Tom and Giselle this weekend and they have every right to ask for prayer for important events in their lives just as much as you and I do. The money we make and the state of the life we live does not dictate the prayers we are allowed and not allowed to pray.

In my earlier Tim Tebow blog, where a Boston clergyman basically said the same thing about Tim, I alluded to Mrs. O on The Talk agreeing with me if the topic were brought to the table. Now, here we are three weeks later, and the very same topic did make it to the table. Today Kelly Osbourne was sitting in for her mother, and she didn't disappoint me. She told how she once prayed for a Coach bag and just the fact that Giselle even seriously prays is a great thing. She told how she prays for insignificant everyday things that are only important to her, the point being, she prays and has faith God works in everyone's life. Kudos Kelly.

It's sad that there are people that actually are so far away from God that they think the tiny pieces of our lives are too insignificant to bother Him about, and the only things we should pray about are the big global problems. Tyler was not being mean. She just means she'd feel guilty bothering God about a trivial football game as opposed to world peace. Sadly, she misses the point.

It's not about WHAT we pray for. It's about what the focus of our prayers mean in our hearts and in our personal lives. That's what God cares about. He cares that we come to Him with the things that touch our souls, regardless of our status in society. He uses whatever is important to us to grow and change who we are and to bring us closer to Him.

If anything, I hope people walk away from that show today questioning their own intimacy with their Higher Power. Thinking, "Can I really enlist God to help me balance my checkbook? I mean, He's gotta be busy with world peace and all...does He really want to hear about my dented fender, sick cat, and broken washing machine? Shouldn't He focus on curing cancer and saving the economy?"

And so, as another day goes by, just had to get that off my chest, feel much better now, and....I have written.

Finding That Power Within

Resetting the Compass, the Final Day - Day 31

How fitting that on the final day of my compass resetting, Victoria Azarenka, who just this week became the number one tennis player in the world, was on Ellen. I had just written the title of today's piece when I was drawn to the interview going on in front of me. Ellen asked her about almost quitting tennis last year. Azarenka said, "Yes. I was quitting and then I changed my perspective and everything turned around. It was a pivotal moment." Then Ellen said, "Last year you were quitting tennis and here you are one year later, number one in the world. That goes to show it's never too late to change direction."

As I said, for me, today, how fitting. We must remember IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE DIRECTION. We can change the direction in our career, our thinking, our relationships, our health...and the list can go on...but the important thing to remember is it's never too late. It's never a done deal. We can always turn ourselves to face a new horizon. We have the power within us to move ourselves either physically to a new job or home or emotionally to a new perspective or spiritually toward a calling we have been resisting.

Yesterday I learned there is power in tackling the difficult things life hands us. When there is a mountain in front of us, a change of perspective, a slight compass adjustment, unleashes a power we may have not known we possessed, as Azarenka found out.

And so, as the last day of January goes by, dare to nudge the needle, look at things from a new angle, discover the power you harbor within, and ...I have written.

Once Upon A Time

Tonight I was watching one of this season's new shows on tv, OnceUpon A Time. It's the one that takes place in Storybrook Maine and all the fairytale characters are trapped in today's time and don't remember who they are. In tonight's episode Snow White said something to Emma, who is her daughter, (but of course neither one knows this). She said:

"I know your walls keep pain from getting in, but could it be they also prevent love from getting in?"

A thought worth pondering. Is it worth the risk in order to experience love in it's entirety? Is anything worth having acquired through hard work that may result in pain, despite all your effort? Or is it better to just sit on the sideline and not take the risk of getting in the game? Is sitting on the sideline missing experiencing the essence of life? Is love the essence of life?

This could go on and on. That's why I never stopped to consider it in the first place. If I loved someone, I just went for it, no holds barred, never even considering that I might get hurt. Not a good MO for a person who doesn't handle rejection well. When the hurt came, I was always taken by surprise. Yet, even in the face of the longest and hardest hurt of my life, taking the risk is still worth it to me. My glass is always half full. There's always hope in even the darkest times. Life is all about feeling - both the good and the bad. The good shows us how to live in peace. The bad shows us how to grow and change and prepare for the next good time. Walls not only prevent both pain and love from reaching us, but they also prevent growth. Living behind walls so thick chokes off our emotional oxygen. Our inner growth is stunted. We never move forward emotionally. Relationships become distorted and permanent relationships are next to impossible to maintain. I always say, in the face of pain, difficulty, and confusion:

Keep your head up, your mind clear, and your heart open.

Don't ever sacrifice love just to stay safe from pain. To do so causes unseen damage and wasted years. A heart broken and repaired is like a beautiful quilt pieced together with strong, tiny stitches, bearing the story of a full, rich life. A heart pitted by the hailstones (and occasional meteors) hurled by life, has character and possesses hidden knowledge in each crater. An open heart allows itself to lie on the sand, vulnerable to the tide's harsh movement, but still able to warm under the heat of the sun. Don't miss this.

And so, as another day goes by, walls are great for hanging pictures, but not for hiding hearts, and ....I have written.